Sunday, April 13, 2014

The farmer should stop trying to predict things

The farmer is great* at predicting what us goats will do *by "great", I mean "so terrible she can't predict the way out of a paper bag". Every year she makes all sorts of predictions about kidding season. And every year, she is completely wrong in every single aspect of every single prediction. Her track record is so bad that she can't even be relied upon to predict if we are pregnant or not. She's one of those people who swears up and down that a certain goat is not bred, only to find a mystery kid in the pen 5 months later.

This year she predicted that I would have twin does on day 155. Guess how much of that prediction she got right?? Um... only the part about how I would give birth this year. In reality, I had one buck kid on day 152.
"El Grande" was born today. The farmer actually tried to predict the time of delivery as Friday night at 9pm. Um.. He was actually born on Sunday at 1pm. (yeah, someone needs to revoke her license to predict). Her terrible predicting skills were not in our favor because the farmer spent all of Saturday night waking up the entire barn every hour to check on me.

Daisy is due next and I can't wait to see what wrong predictions the farmer makes about this one. I have heard her say that Daisy will have twins on day 150. We'll see..... we shall see.......

Friday, March 21, 2014

What the??

If you happen to be the one person who actually reads this blog, you might have noticed some discrepancies between the last update and previous entries. Like why am I pregnant and what happened to the plan to breed Fiona this year? Well, as usual, plans didn't function as planned. Fiona didn't reach her growth goals by breeding season so the farmer opted out of breeding her. She did grow well this year and has turned into a very good looking doe. She'll probably be bred next year. Since Fiona was out of the line-up, I was put into the breeding queue. The farmer rationalized that because I have always been a dependable breeder with an easy udder, then I should be bred this year.

So here we are. Daisy and I are bred and Fiona was spared a year.

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Winter Update

I took the blog back from Figaro. He thought that since he won the trophy for the parade that he was entitled to the blog but he didn't even bother to update it or the Facebook account or the Twitter feed or even the Pinterest board so I took those back. Besides, the blog is called "Lucy the Goat", not "Figaro the Goat Who Looks Like a Sheep". I believe in truth in advertising, so since I am Lucy, I will take the blog back.

Anyways.... where was I again? Oh, right -- winter..... You will notice that I labeled this post "Winter Update" even though it is early March. Guess what? Up here in the North Country, it is STILL winter! Winter actually goes from mid-October until mid-May here. It's pretty ridiculous but it's true. I have goat friends in Alaska who are currently singing the praises of spring time and thinking about green grass and gardens. You want to know what I am thinking about?? Not freezing my udder off, that's what I am thinking about! This morning was -25F! Brrrr doesn't even begin to describe it.

Thank goodness I had the good sense not to get pregnant the first time the farmer put me in with the buck this year because I would be popping out kids in a week or two. I knew better when I heard the farmer say, "Well, if the weather in 2014 is like last year, then it will be warm and sunny in March so let's breed the goats early and get a jump on things". I knew better. Luckily both me and Daisy had the good fortitude to cross our legs and think unfertile thoughts until the last possible minute. We are both due to kid around April 16th. We were actually bred 8 days apart but since I like to hold my kids until day 156 and Daisy is a first freshener who has a good chance of going early around day 145, we might actually kid on the same day. Yay! Labor besties! Kidding on the same day is great because the farmer is really happy to give us lots of treats and take extra care with the kids. Plus she is usually too busy to bother us too much with anything more than treats and loves. No intense scrutiny or extra poking and prodding.

I will keep you posted on the kid progress. Hopefully winter ends soon (like in a month or two!).

Friday, February 14, 2014

In which Figaro wins a trophy...


Figaro here. I have taken over the blog from Lucy today. Why? Because I won a trophy and any goat who wins a trophy deserves a blog, of course. Why did I win a trophy? Because I am the coolest goat in Saranac Lake. Why am I the coolest? Because I marched in the Winter Carnival Gala Parade with the Adirondack Goat Club and we won the trophy for "1st Place Best Animal Unit". Why did I march? Because I am an awesome goat who looks like a sheep and who doesn't love to see a goat who looks like a sheep but who is actually a goat. Why do I look like a sheep? Because I am an Angora goat, duh. Back to the parade. There were 12 goats and 20 people and we all marched down Main St. The crowd loved us and even threw carrots at us (I don't really know why the crowd was throwing carrots at all the floats that marched by, but the goats really loved the carrots so please throw carrots every year). The Winter Carnival Parade is a crazy parade where the entire town shows up and acts silly, by "silly" I mean drunk. It's winter and cold but everyone is having a blast and they are having an even greater time when they see a goat who looks like a sheep walk by. So I won a trophy and I got a blog. Yay me.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

World War G



To say it has been cold up here in the North Country of NY is like saying that Pope Francis is cool – a hugemungous understatement. It has been super friggin’ cold here with temperatures well below zero for days (and by “well below zero”, I don’t mean -5F – you pansies!). Subsequently all of the goats have been confined to the barn for days on end. Even the bucks have been brought into the barn. To illustrate how unusual the outside conditions have to be for the bucks to move inside, the farmer has often been heard muttering “It’ll be a cold day in Hell when I have stinky bucks living in my barn”. Well, welcome to Hell. 

Just as the weather turned cold, Daisy must have caught sight of herself in a mirror because she decided that since she is the second largest goat on the farm, she needed to be in charge of the smaller goats. Up until recently the pecking order was determined by age with me at 6 years old on top, Figaro at 4 years old next, Daisy at 2 next, followed by the spring babies (Fiona, Curry, and the two bucks). All was good with this order and no one had a problem with it. Well, low and behold, Daisy suddenly decided SHE had a problem with it. She started asserting her authority by beating the living tar out of Figaro who in spite of being older is smaller due to being an Angora. Daisy and Figaro have lived together for years but suddenly Daisy decided that she didn’t like his laissez-faire fuzzball attitude. She pounded him into the stall walls and door until the farmer decided to give him a break and move him to a new pen. The farmer then tried every configuration she could think of to fit 7 goats into 3 stalls without the bucks doing some unappreciated hanky-panky and without Daisy killing her stall mate. The farmer put Daisy in with Fiona but Daisy tried to kill Fiona. Then the farmer put Fiona and Curry in with Daisy but Daisy then tried to kill both of them. Then Daisy when in with me and I tried to kill Daisy. Finally the farmer had to settle on Daisy and Fiona together because Fiona was least likely to suffer permanent damage from repeated poundings. It’s pretty much been one big Ultimate Fighting match in the barn for the last few weeks. 

The weather broke for a few days and relative peace was enjoyed by all because the bucks could go back outside and the girls got to be in the pasture during the day. Now we are anticipating an “artic vortex” to descend. Hopefully the “Daisy vortex” has calmed down a bit and we can all go back to being friends (or at least mildly tolerating each other).

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Santa Goat is Coming to Town!

The farmer has been ridiculously busy and she refuses to let me use the computer so that is why you haven't heard from your favorite Alpine lately. All is well in the goat world. Daisy and I went on our annual fall dates with the buck and are both knocked up now. I stopped giving milk when the weather got cold because nobody likes cold hands on their teats in the morning! The farmer wasn't happy with that but she was happy to not have to think about milking for a few months. Everyone likes a vacation once in a while. Figaro and Fiona are doing well. Curry, Samosa and Prince Charming have a date with the butcher next week (Shhh.... don't tell them!). I don't mind that situation as long as my name isn't on the freezer list! More food for me if they are gone! 

Santa Goat came early and gave us a few Christmas trees to celebrate with. No decorations but that is fine with me. Tinsel just gets stuck in my teeth anyway. This winter has been good so far. No real snow yet. There has been a couple of -20 degree days. Luckily the farmer has become an old softee and lets us stay inside when it is below 0 in the morning. I would rather not stand around outside and freeze my tail off (literally!). 

Merry Goat-mas and a Happy Goat Year!

Monday, September 9, 2013

Farm 2 Fork Festival

 There's a festival in the nearby by town that is 1/3 farmer's market, 1/3 local food party, and 1/3 farming celebration. The farmer brings some goats every year to show the townspeople that goats aren't so bad after all. Figaro, Fiona, and Curry were chosen to go to the Festival. The farmer wanted a good selection of different breeds to represent. The appearance of Figaro required the farmer to tell everyone that he was a goat and not a sheep because everyone thought he was a sheep. The farmer's friend brought her ear-less wonder, a Lamancha doeling. This required the farmer to explain to everyone that the goat was born that way and the lack of ears was not the result of a horrible accident.


The Festival went very well. It was very cold and rainy in the morning but the sun came out just as the food came out too. Lots of people showed up then. The only problem was that the farmer had to give a presentation on goat care and she brought Fiona up to the stage to show off. When Fiona got back to the petting pen, she had quite a chip on her shoulder for being the "Chosen One" and decided she needed to beat up the friend's Lamancha doeling. Fiona had to be put in time-out and tied on a lead for the rest of the day.