Tuesday, January 7, 2014

World War G

To say it has been cold up here in the North Country of NY is like saying that Pope Francis is cool – a hugemungous understatement. It has been super friggin’ cold here with temperatures well below zero for days (and by “well below zero”, I don’t mean -5F – you pansies!). Subsequently all of the goats have been confined to the barn for days on end. Even the bucks have been brought into the barn. To illustrate how unusual the outside conditions have to be for the bucks to move inside, the farmer has often been heard muttering “It’ll be a cold day in Hell when I have stinky bucks living in my barn”. Well, welcome to Hell. 

Just as the weather turned cold, Daisy must have caught sight of herself in a mirror because she decided that since she is the second largest goat on the farm, she needed to be in charge of the smaller goats. Up until recently the pecking order was determined by age with me at 6 years old on top, Figaro at 4 years old next, Daisy at 2 next, followed by the spring babies (Fiona, Curry, and the two bucks). All was good with this order and no one had a problem with it. Well, low and behold, Daisy suddenly decided SHE had a problem with it. She started asserting her authority by beating the living tar out of Figaro who in spite of being older is smaller due to being an Angora. Daisy and Figaro have lived together for years but suddenly Daisy decided that she didn’t like his laissez-faire fuzzball attitude. She pounded him into the stall walls and door until the farmer decided to give him a break and move him to a new pen. The farmer then tried every configuration she could think of to fit 7 goats into 3 stalls without the bucks doing some unappreciated hanky-panky and without Daisy killing her stall mate. The farmer put Daisy in with Fiona but Daisy tried to kill Fiona. Then the farmer put Fiona and Curry in with Daisy but Daisy then tried to kill both of them. Then Daisy when in with me and I tried to kill Daisy. Finally the farmer had to settle on Daisy and Fiona together because Fiona was least likely to suffer permanent damage from repeated poundings. It’s pretty much been one big Ultimate Fighting match in the barn for the last few weeks. 

The weather broke for a few days and relative peace was enjoyed by all because the bucks could go back outside and the girls got to be in the pasture during the day. Now we are anticipating an “artic vortex” to descend. Hopefully the “Daisy vortex” has calmed down a bit and we can all go back to being friends (or at least mildly tolerating each other).